Stream of Consciousness

As I am completing this project of creating a new blog post every Monday for a whole year, I am left feeling both a pressure to put the best possible quality into what I am saying with these last few blog posts, but I am also feeling a hesitance. This hesitance comes from feeling a block of ideas. What else do I possibly have to say?

This week I decided to try something a youtube-r I used to watch would do which is where they’d simply talk. Not with any agenda or idea or purpose, but just talk about anything that came to mind. Today I decided to try and do the same- to sit down on my computer and simply take this time that I finally have free for myself, to explore whats going on up there (my mind!) and get it out onto Digital paper (hopefully unedited too except for the odd spelling mistake!)

I am going to try and write without over-thinking too much, just talk about whats on my mind in this moment- here we go!

This year has been one that we won’t forget anytime soon; it has tested us all in our own ways. We have been pushed to new heights of emotion. I recently out of anger ripped a bag of herbs open that were already destined for the bin, in the most frantic explosion. Afterwards I was just in a state of shock that I did it, I think with my Autism I tend to have very drastic changes in mood and it can come out physically sometimes. 

I hope that our 2021’s can be an opportunity to do all the things we missed out on in 2020. (I will reflect more on this year in my end of year review blog post- stay tuned!)

Other than that, life has been pretty busy, the kind of busy where you don’t even realise what time or date it is. I haven’t had a varied life at the moment, simply wake up, work, sleep. I think this is called a normal life but I don’t think its really for me in the grander scheme of things. 

I am spending this month dedicating time to my new ‘Our Beautiful Demise’ series. I am so excited to begin finally properly creating for it, I find that even though its darker and colder, I always find this time of year inspires me to create the most, the atmosphere in the air really feels magical and full of potential. I am hoping to create I think 4-5 new photos this month for the series which will take the total of photos in this series up to 7-8. I’m not sure how many photos I should have in a series for a gallery, but I feel like thats strong, and I know that I want each photo to be strong enough to work in the series, with no odd ones out that don’t have that quality of story or technique.

What are you up to at the moment? How are you coping with all the uncertainty? 

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