Monthly Reflection: October

October: the month where we began to feel autumnal and I finally created some concepts I have had planned for over a year!

Heres some personal highlights from this month:

-shot surrounded in mannequins and beautifully decayed walls

-my partners brother and his partner got engaged!

-released my first ever portrait giveaway competition (read my previous blogpost to find out more.)

-did my first ever escape room- we ate pizza and became an incredible team hat beat the room with 12 mins to spare!

-swung in a cute swing with my friend who I haven’t seen in ages

-saw my grandma 

-celebrated my bff’s birthday with a couple meals out.

-celebrated mustard day, a personal fave holiday me and my friends made up! (scroll to read more about it!

-worked like everyday and now I think I have an addiction to money!

-took a covid test and came back negative (I didn’t have symptoms but might have been near someone who has.)

-got accepted onto an apprenticeship programme with work to do a management level qualification!

-did a birthday Facetime call for my grandad with my family

-picked up my engagement ring!

Antwerp

I have shot at Antwerp in the past with some photography friends, I re-found them and loved how they’d updated the sets, so much so that I decided the first day of October I would bring my partner with me to shoot a couple self portraits.

The first being a concept I’ve had planned for a couple of years now- one where the idea of the audience being affected by magic is flipped and questioned, what about the creator-the magician? I shot the main shot at Antwerp mansion, which is an old abandoned building near Manchester. The people who run it are the sweetest and helped so much whilst I was shooting! 

The second shot is one I felt inspired to do when I saw they’d shared a photo with a bunch of mannequin limbs. I felt so compelled to create a concept about my insectaries and need to hide and blend in some days. I feel I really captured the many sides of me in this photo and its one I will always treasure. (Also I let my partner completely set design this and I adore what he did, double also! We did some photos of him which I adore :D)

in motion

I let my instagram followers choose what I created on a day I had off, and most people commented that they wanted to see a darker portrait for my ‘Autismus’ series. This series is one that shows the many sides that come with my Autism, this photo in particular is about how when I’m in intense social situations, everything seems to become a hectic blur and in motion. 

It was so rewarding to finally bring this idea to life after spending so long imagining it in my head. I have heard people say that this is a very acquire representation of autism for them, I find that so rewarding to know as I hope that this series can grow to help people that their have autism, to know they’re not alone, or to teach people what autism is to those who don’t have it or may want to understand it better, <3

a return to flight is pending.

Yet another photo I created, that I have had planned for the longest time. It was inspired by an old photo of mine, as well as the feeling of taking off into a new adventure.

I shot the background on a weekend away in the peaks, and shot the main part of the shot recently in my back garden, with the help of a kids toy car to crawl out of for believability!  It was really fun to create in a new way, and not feel like I have to shoot everything on location.

Apart

Another long awaited concept I’ve had planned, one that questions the two meanings of the phrase ‘Apart’: to be a part of something, involved- and to be apart from something. I have felt these two opposites very strongly this year since lockdowns have taken place. We have had to distance and separate, but at the same time have come closer together. 

I tried a new effect with this one, where I used a rippled effect in photoshop. I used multiple photos that I again shot in my back garden, moving the subjects to a woodland background. I then played with multiple versions of the me’s and warped and rippled them to look like they were in water! Another great technique I can add to my belt.

the space inside emptiness.

This concept is a little deeper for me, and is again one I have had planned since I first began experiencing grief. I remember feeling this hole appear in my life, as the people or things that meant the most to me started to fade form my life. This isn’t necessarily through just death, but through breakups, family divides and friendships ending, either naturally or intentionally. Each of these act as a little loss in out lives, a little grief,  a little hole in our day-to-day. 

I never fully conceptualised this idea, or planned how I could technically create it without coming across cheesy or really overly edited or glamorised; until I found this amazing fabric kindly loaned to me from Francesca Perinetti, originally a shawl or scarf. I was able to transform it into a sort of cloak, showing the many holes that form when we experience loss.

mustard day.

Finally, I got to enjoy a day out with my partner, exploring one of our favourite wooded areas. I later decided to dress up and go by myself to take some pictures in some yellow leaves that were near by my house.  I always love this day as for the last 5 years, its had a little feeling of magic to it. So I like to cherish it and think of all the good times, whether they be with people in my life, or moments I’ve shared with myself.